Myself v1.2

When eveything seems to be going wrong for you, did you ever have that feeling that if given another shot at that time of your life, you could certainly make it better? It is of course in the nature of humans to dream about what could have happened and what he/she ought to have done. Keeping up with this line of thought, intellectual evolution of the human belief system has conjured up an idea, or thought-process if I may, to safeguard the future of an individual strong enough to improve upon his/her shortcomings, and the innate drive of humans to identify and name anything and everything provided this method of self-improvement with a name- 'resolutions'.

Mulling over these lines, I thought, "What better time to make some of my own resolutions than new year's eve?" I really did'nt have to search hard to find my first set of shortcomings. Being a resolutionary greenhorn, I thought of starting small and as personality is gaining more and more importance in the world, I though it would be ideal to fine-tune it first.

Frankly, I have never been an outwardly kind of person. I keep to myself when in the company of strangers and the process of friend-making is a really long process. My pie-hole just clams up in these situations and after a lot of hard work on my part, whatever I manage to utter even fails to qualify as a squeak! On the other side of the coin, once I befriend an individual, I am really hard-pressed to keep my mouth shut. Now news and discussions are okay, but what really keeps me going is a sort of cocktail of goofy, slapstick, friendly, and sarcastic jokes and remarks that runs strong in my family. Though made with the most innocent intentions possible, they sometimes really go over the edge.

So, I guess my new year resolution is 'to speak up when meeting strangers, and then shut up after befriending them'. I know it sounds nutty, but that's it!

Delectable Curses (Chapter-7)

'Oh my God! I can't believe he actually wrote down all we did in his memoirs.'

I am finally moving out and was clearing the place when I stumbled upon these papers. 'Delectable Curses! Man, what was he thinking?' Anyways, since I bargained on for both the good and the bad times, I'll try and continue the legacy he started.

For the readers still scratching their heads, Hi! I am the girl you all have been reading about. I think it's been about seven odd years since the events of the sixth chapter took place so let me just bring you all up to pace a bit.

A couple of months after he brought me into the loop, we got married in a small but sweet ceremony in the local church. I guess he really meant it when he said that he loved me too much to keep me tied to him and that thought kept pricking him in the back of his mind. Other than that, we lived and loved much like any other couple in love. He was so nice in a carefree and yet caring kinda way. I dare say, those were the days when we really lived our lives out.

Of course, modern medical analysis soon caught up to us and his condition started to deteriorate. Initially I tried to fight it and make a stand, but he was content to just let go. "I've had a shot at life and by God, was it a good one!", he used to say. It was a quiet service with just the family in attendance as he didn't want us to create a lot of fuss about it. It was probably the hardest part of my life. I realized that everything loses meaning in such times and all one wants to do is to fade away. Life as it is gets all blurred and mixed up, as if being viewed through smoked glass. As someone once remarked, "death has a curious way of shuffling one's priorities."

Why do people always get so philosophical I will never understand, but I do understand, and will remember what he has taught me. I will take the life Lord has given me and try and make the most out of it. So I have quit my job and am going down under. There I will make a new beginning, not for me but for him, for he used to say, "Never too late to start over again!"

Straight from the heart.

My life changed
the day I first saw you.
I did'nt know it then
and basked away the days
merry and gay
till the day you moved away
taking a part of me with you.

Years passed,
old wounds started to heal
my heart I could again feel
and then we met again
but some things never change
and I fell for you again.
Curse me!
I should've confessed
and opened my heart to you.
God knows I tried,
maybe succeeded once or twice.
to overimpose,
I let it all pass
and you floated away
on the sands of time.

I swore,
never to trust my heart again
and buried these crime scene memories
deep in my personal love garden.
Sometimes my nights were haunted
but at least the days were fine
and O' beautiful friend,
I took your own advice,
tried and am trying
to move on.
I felt better after a very long time
liked your strategy
and took life on
as it was thrown my way
day by day,
mile by mile,
and was quite happy about myself until
you called again!

Why me?
For I finally believe in destiny
and if you feel the way that I do,
then this itself is our destiny.
If not,
don't bother and just let me be.


I dream...
of seas richer than the bluest sapphires
of people dressed in elegant attires
and beautiful birds flying high and low
among bright patches of a spring rainbow.

I wonder...
how freedom tastes to the soul
what it is like to be on your own
if a flightless bird like me could soar
and into someone my heart I could pour.

I wish...
someone would sweep me off my feet
and under the starry sky we both could meet
as to slow music our bodies would sway
and the world could vanish far, far away.